Decisions

The blog has been highly depressing since Christmas, for obvious reasons. I now have the decision to make; do I keep on blogging through the dark times and try and be light hearted and witty, should I empty my head and my heart of the aches and pains that I’ve suffered or should I lock all that away and keep it locked. After all, are people here to read my thoughts on all aspects of my life or my professional expertise (which I’m yet to figure what it is)

Personally, I find it hard to hide feelings. I come across as grumpy and overly sarcastic the majority of times anyway, some people I hit it off with, they understand that. Other people find it very off putting .But what I despise doing is being fake. It was hard to come in to work last week, even for that one day, because I knew everyone would be lovely and kind and say ‘sorry to hear about your news/mum’. I still have no idea how to respond to that. I didn’t and still don’t feel ok, I’ve barely had chance to think about it since it happened, yet I felt a pressure to put on a smile and ‘act’ ok with it.

Truth be told I want to hibernate for at least a month and try my best to think of the good times that I had with my mum. Yet, this fast paced life we have doesn’t allow for that. This morning I had an hour to myself. It was bliss. And I’m looking forward to tomorrow. I have a hospital appointment at 9.30, and I hope I’m not there all day and after that I want to just come home and be me.

I should apologise, I started this entry with the intention of being more positive and talking about the exciting things happening in life, instead I have droned on again. So, for that I say sorry.

The major event happening is work related. The Aussie Barbie (http://focusbirmingham.org.uk/events/australia_day_bbq) is getting ever closer and whilst everything is booked and ready, I desperately need to sell tickets. This kind of event is not my forte, yet it has been me driving it. I hoped it would capture the imagination of locals, but under 2 weeks out and I haven’t heard a peep out of anyone which is a little disappointing. Friends and family will support it, but that’s not enough.

I hope later in the week to write a more inspiring blog about why I set up the event, and that will be the re-start of this blog.

Just an ordinary Wednesday

That's all it's been. Normal service resumed I suppose. Tomorrow could be a very interesting day. Now, you should always be careful about what you blog about and who is potentially going to read it. So when I blog about work, I guess I should be careful...

...but then I like to be upfront, in person and online. I am who I am, haha. Anyway, to the point in hand. I have my second one-to-one with the CEO tomorrow (the two line managers between me and him are both ob sick leave) now, if I'm honest, and you'll have to forgive me Rob, but I held back a little during our first one and I came out a little disillusioned. But I got over it quite quickly and I hope that I'm able to portray my ideas better this time.

Certainly, we have one Fundraising idea that could potentially be huge and doesn't even require a great deal of work. But word on the street is that the CEO isn't sold on the idea, so enter me tomorrow. I think I have a persuasive argument, and come on, this is my job. If I don't get it right then so be it, but it's my head on the chopping block and I'm happy with that. So hang tight and tomorrow all will be revealed.

Did go down to Lordswood Girls School's Christmas Fayre today to hand out some Australia Day BBQ flyers, seemed a good response, just got to really push the ticket selling next month. Could be a tough month, but gotta go for it.

So, sorry it's dull. Am sure tomorrow will be far more exciting!