I make it 7 months since the last post. Were this blog to be read by anyone, that's probably enough time to have lost everyone's interest.
Things have certainly changed since I last updated, I'm in a different place...no, literally I am in a different place, my home away from home I like to call it. After all my wishful thinking I achieved my aims for my 30th birthday and that was to be back in Australia. And whilst celebrations were low key, they were just the way I wanted them, sure if my extended family could have joined me that would have been wonderful, but that's still a work in progress.
So, we're here. Back in our house that we'd bought back in 2005 and been renting out. What now? It's an odd sensation. When we left to go back to the UK, it was just the three of us and N was only 1, so the house felt plenty big enough. Now, with N turning 4 and M 2 the house is starting to feel very cramped, although we have had visitors, so our bedroom was turned in to the guest bedroom and we now occupy a bedroom at the back of the house. Perhaps we have too much stuff. What is worrying is that we have a storage unit filled to bursting in the UK that needs to come over, where everything will go I have no idea. Although the quicker it gets here the better, whilst my bikes are securely stored at my dads, they won't be coming over until the whole container gets sent and I miss my bikes :-(
I am very grateful though as our friends leant me their bike, which was actually very useful in the first few months. I went back to doing courier work, which bought some money in but not a lot and as I was only a casual I had to return the hire van back each friday meaning a lovely hour long ride home each weekend. Shouldn't complain though, since giving it up I've hardly touched the bike.
Two months ago, Dad arrived for a holiday here, was great to have him here. It's been a horrible year for him and I hope he was able to relax here and enjoy it. We all wish he could have stayed longer, but his knees are terrible at the moment. We were hoping for his first knee replacement to take place in November, however it now looks like it'll be January. So he'll need the other one doing middle of next year and hopefully he can be back out for Christmas 2011. Of course, trying to convince my sister and her husband to live over here is proving quite difficult. I can understand people don't like change, but from what I hear and read about life in the UK, I'd be heading here or at least out of the UK as soon as possible.
I gave up the courier role, although they had offered me a permanent job rather than as a sub-contractor. But since turning 30, I've been feeling quite pathetic that 9 years after obtaining a pretty average Business and Management degree I haven't established a career. I certainly want to, and I want to be able to support our family more. So I'm being more picky about the jobs I apply for, after 5 odd years working for charities I realise that it's not my game and that i want a more professional environment.
An opportunity could be coming though in running a franchise, it's something I've considered in the past, but the opportunities haven't been there. It would be a big risk, but I figure any job has risks and stresses, at least this would be in an industry I'm interested in and therefore, even if the profits are small, as long as it covers my lowly wages at the moment, then we'll be right. But there is lots of research to be doing before then.
Well, I will leave you with that pretty vague update. Now that I am a stay at home Dad, I shall endeavour to update more and try and include a few more visuals, as reams and reams of writing is never appealing is it.
Take it easy.
P.S. I went bowling with my good friends Leigh 'Destroyer' Diprose and Andrew 'Apples' Appleby. Apples is the king of ten pin bowling, but I did storm to victory in our 'warm-up' game. I think the 186 was possibly my highest score ever, and that after just knocking 2 pins down in the first frame. Unfortunately, I couldn't keep the pace up and finished 3rd in the next game with Destroyer taking home the plaudits. A reflective milkshake from Fast Eddy's was consumed as is our normal practice after such events.
Monday 22 November 2010
Monday 12 April 2010
Moving here, there and everywhere
It’s possibly about time and worth an update. The weekend involved moving heaps of furniture and boxes from my house and my in-laws house to our newly acquired storage unit.
Picked up the van on Saturday morning from Halesowen Self Drive, nice chaps, reasonable prices. We had a Luton van with tail lift, rather than a larger van, but looking back I’m pretty sure all the furniture would have fitted in a regular van, although it might have had to be packed better.
The kiddies were dispatched with Aunty Jo, Uncle Rob and Grace to Sandwell Park Farm in West Bromwich, which left the missus, my Father In-Law and my Old Man (despite me telling him he didn’t have to because of his dodgy knees).
We finished unloading the first load at about 1.30pm, a pretty good job well done and still plenty of space in the storage unit thank goodness. We later returned to my house, packed up our bed and the kids bed and took them to the In-Laws so we would now have a new base of operations. This will help in the coming weeks, so we can go back to our house each night and pack what’s left.
And what’s left appears to be a lot, no matter how much we shifted at the weekend, I still look at our house and cry. How we have accumulated so much stuff I will never know, I just hope we can get through it all and ditch the rubbish.
On Sunday, we had a much more relaxing day, although suffering with a cold, I returned the van to Halesowen and took my bike out and met Rob and Daz for our usual Sunday morning ride. We took it pretty easy and went towards Hagley and Stourbridge before returning to Halesowen for a well earned Sausage and Egg McMuffin.
After that it was back home and played with the kids outside for a bit before going back to our house to get some clothes for the working week. The missus then decided to tell me that she had home visits on Monday so would need the car. Which was fine, just meant that I had to get on the bike again today, which was a bit of a struggle…I blame the cold.
And here we are. Another fun day ahead…only a few more of those to go. Finishing on Friday
Picked up the van on Saturday morning from Halesowen Self Drive, nice chaps, reasonable prices. We had a Luton van with tail lift, rather than a larger van, but looking back I’m pretty sure all the furniture would have fitted in a regular van, although it might have had to be packed better.
The kiddies were dispatched with Aunty Jo, Uncle Rob and Grace to Sandwell Park Farm in West Bromwich, which left the missus, my Father In-Law and my Old Man (despite me telling him he didn’t have to because of his dodgy knees).
We finished unloading the first load at about 1.30pm, a pretty good job well done and still plenty of space in the storage unit thank goodness. We later returned to my house, packed up our bed and the kids bed and took them to the In-Laws so we would now have a new base of operations. This will help in the coming weeks, so we can go back to our house each night and pack what’s left.
And what’s left appears to be a lot, no matter how much we shifted at the weekend, I still look at our house and cry. How we have accumulated so much stuff I will never know, I just hope we can get through it all and ditch the rubbish.
On Sunday, we had a much more relaxing day, although suffering with a cold, I returned the van to Halesowen and took my bike out and met Rob and Daz for our usual Sunday morning ride. We took it pretty easy and went towards Hagley and Stourbridge before returning to Halesowen for a well earned Sausage and Egg McMuffin.
After that it was back home and played with the kids outside for a bit before going back to our house to get some clothes for the working week. The missus then decided to tell me that she had home visits on Monday so would need the car. Which was fine, just meant that I had to get on the bike again today, which was a bit of a struggle…I blame the cold.
And here we are. Another fun day ahead…only a few more of those to go. Finishing on Friday
Monday 15 March 2010
Training Ride - What would mother have thought...
Yes, my gift to my darling wife and mother of my two children was some quality time with them while I scarpered out on my bike! Fear not, it had all been pre-orchestrated and booked, although perhaps I was back a little later than anticipated. But I'm not going to suddenly magic in to condition for this 100km ride.
Started out at 7am with my usual quandary of how many layers and what type of clothes to wear.
Initially I walked out of the house with thermal gloves, but then for some reason ditched them, left them in the house as opposed to carrying them with me and left with my full fingered goves. And I also wore my extra special cycling socks which as you can imagine let the air flow around your feet easier, and also of course, in cold weather makes your feet freezing.It wasn't long, roughly 5 minutes before I knew I'd made the wrong decision. But I'm a man and I stick by my wrong decisions!
Met up with Rob, Ian and Daz and quickly agreed our route. Ended up being quite a nice day, headed towards Bromsgrove and tried to lay low from all the pro cyclists out there, but it is great to see so many out on days like yesterday.
I am quickly coming to terms with the fact that no matter which way we ride, we will face hills. I'd rather tackle them early, but there's no chance. Looks like I live on a rige 200m above sea level and everywhere else is just under 50m. Ended up doing 35 miles, which was probably 7 or 8 more than we're used to, but as time wasn't a great factor it was worth it. Saying that, some of the boys were looking panicky at 10.20am when were only at McDonald's in Longbridge.
I really need to sort out our sunday breakfast, all the coffee shops are usually closed though, so it leaves us without much of an option. I doubt MaccyD's breakfasts are particularly healthy, but they do give you a little kick. We now have less than 2 weeks to go until event day. Tomorrow I will be posting about the fundraising aspect of the ride, as I have a few thoughts on the matter.
Monday 8 March 2010
It's Official
I have resigned as Events Fundraiser for Focus Birmingham, my last day will be the 16th April. I've been ridiculously nervous about handing my notice in, but it's done now. I don't think too many people will be surprised. I'll be moving back to Perth, Western Australia (the place I learnt to call home) and I am so excited. Having moved there in 2004, it took a few years to settle before being yanked back home. I'm glad I've been here for the last 3 years to spend time with mum, but now is the time to move back and do what's right for my family.
I'm encouraging my dad and my sister to come and spend some time with us and I really hope they will as they are the only thing stopping us. I can't believe it though, we're on our way. Excitement city! Which is ironic as Perth as been known as Dullesville.
Oh, but I can't wait, feels like I've been released from my shackles of the last few years and now can finall yget our life back on track!
Friday 26 February 2010
Time for a change
Tonight was the Guitar Hero fundraiser. And let's face it, it sucked.
And I have to ask the question why. And the answer boils down to me. Firstly I've lost any motivation I had, secondly, I just don't have the energy to engage with people and thirdly, I'm just not cut out for this job.
Right now, I can't wait to hand my notice in. I have one more event planned in March which is equally crazy and therefore I really can't see me drumming up enough support to make it worth it, so I'm really wondering what the point of doing it is.
I'm planning on resigning on the 9th March as my line manager will be back from her trip then and we're scheduled for a one to one. Will be awkward, but it has to be done. I do enjoy organising and managing events, but I just have a real problem getting people to them.
Andy sucks.
And I have to ask the question why. And the answer boils down to me. Firstly I've lost any motivation I had, secondly, I just don't have the energy to engage with people and thirdly, I'm just not cut out for this job.
Right now, I can't wait to hand my notice in. I have one more event planned in March which is equally crazy and therefore I really can't see me drumming up enough support to make it worth it, so I'm really wondering what the point of doing it is.
I'm planning on resigning on the 9th March as my line manager will be back from her trip then and we're scheduled for a one to one. Will be awkward, but it has to be done. I do enjoy organising and managing events, but I just have a real problem getting people to them.
Andy sucks.
Thursday 25 February 2010
Looking Back
Now that this blog is private it gives me a chance to be open and show my feelings I guess. That's a problem I have with Twitter, I have met many different kinds of people, some that I can pour my heart out to, others that are professional contacts and probably shouldn't be reading what's happening in my personal life.
Anyway, today I told my Dad that Mrs K (my missus) had been offered a job starting 31st May and that we'd be looking at moving in early May. It's best to drip feed my family this info, they've never been good handling change. They usually come to a decision after months and months of deliberation...I'm a bit of a black sheep, and impulsive.
Dad took it as well as he good. Yet, this big slab of enormous guilt came slamming down on me. Here's a man that's just lost his wife, the bedrock of his world and his son is now abandoning him with his two grandchildren. Of course, I am pushing like crazy to get my Dad to come out with us and he's quite positive about it. But like I said, he'll take months and months to come to a decision. I know there are complications, but complications are obstacles, you figure a way to get over them.
So tonight I had a quick look back. Memories of mum and of friends in Australia came to mind and the last visit mum and dad made to meet Noah in 2006.
I never had an amazing relationship with my parents. As I grew up, I realised that I was very different to them. I thought differently and I acted differently. I can't imagine what they must have thought when I first told them I was emigrating, I guess if my kids ever make a similar decision I'll find out what it's like.
But in 2006, I had the best holiday ever. Mum and Dad had already visited Perth the year before and done a lot of the touristy stuff. So this time we decided to book a few days down south in Margaret River. It's a gorgeous place about 3hrs drive south of Perth. It's famous for it's wineries and it's incredibly picturesque.
We stayed in this lovely little cottage overlooking the ocean. The weather was windy and cold. But I felt so at peace. Noah was just a couple of months old and I didn't have a care in the world. Dad was in his element stoking the fire. It was just perfect. My memory has never been a strong point, but I have the photos and I hope I never forget that holiday.
Anyway, today I told my Dad that Mrs K (my missus) had been offered a job starting 31st May and that we'd be looking at moving in early May. It's best to drip feed my family this info, they've never been good handling change. They usually come to a decision after months and months of deliberation...I'm a bit of a black sheep, and impulsive.
Dad took it as well as he good. Yet, this big slab of enormous guilt came slamming down on me. Here's a man that's just lost his wife, the bedrock of his world and his son is now abandoning him with his two grandchildren. Of course, I am pushing like crazy to get my Dad to come out with us and he's quite positive about it. But like I said, he'll take months and months to come to a decision. I know there are complications, but complications are obstacles, you figure a way to get over them.
So tonight I had a quick look back. Memories of mum and of friends in Australia came to mind and the last visit mum and dad made to meet Noah in 2006.
I never had an amazing relationship with my parents. As I grew up, I realised that I was very different to them. I thought differently and I acted differently. I can't imagine what they must have thought when I first told them I was emigrating, I guess if my kids ever make a similar decision I'll find out what it's like.
But in 2006, I had the best holiday ever. Mum and Dad had already visited Perth the year before and done a lot of the touristy stuff. So this time we decided to book a few days down south in Margaret River. It's a gorgeous place about 3hrs drive south of Perth. It's famous for it's wineries and it's incredibly picturesque.
We stayed in this lovely little cottage overlooking the ocean. The weather was windy and cold. But I felt so at peace. Noah was just a couple of months old and I didn't have a care in the world. Dad was in his element stoking the fire. It was just perfect. My memory has never been a strong point, but I have the photos and I hope I never forget that holiday.
Wednesday 24 February 2010
It's quiet in Birmingham
Over a week since my last private blog. Well, that's mainly because I haven't really achieved much or done anything of note.
The Guitar Hero Gig is tomorrow. I've got all the gear and although I didn't actually test it yesterday, Joel assures me it'll all work. It is his tv and the Wii does work, so what more can I do. Will get down there early just to make sure.
Looks like my stand-in Line Manager (who happens to be the stand-in CEO) is coming along for an hour, probably to scout out just how crap her Events Fundraiser is...not to worry. The plan is to hand in my resignation next week.
Monday we completed our Police Checks and sent those off, last night we began the Visa application and next week we'll have the Medical, which will cost us £260 each, which if it's as bad as the last one will be a big waste of money.
I'm a little worried about the Visa application, obviously, I had to state that I'd had Testicular Cancer and will require follow-up visits to the hospital, although these are only 6 monthly and nothing more than the odd CT scan and blood tests. Hopefully, the application will be read by a real person and not a simple machine.
It's a busy weekend of sport ahead, England vs Ireland in the Six Nations and then the carling cup Final which I will be glued to the tv for. I don't hold big hopes for Villa but on our day we can do the job. It would be nice to squeeze a bike ride in as well, but we'll see. Finally it appears the snow has gone so here's for a few days of early Spring please...
The Guitar Hero Gig is tomorrow. I've got all the gear and although I didn't actually test it yesterday, Joel assures me it'll all work. It is his tv and the Wii does work, so what more can I do. Will get down there early just to make sure.
Looks like my stand-in Line Manager (who happens to be the stand-in CEO) is coming along for an hour, probably to scout out just how crap her Events Fundraiser is...not to worry. The plan is to hand in my resignation next week.
Monday we completed our Police Checks and sent those off, last night we began the Visa application and next week we'll have the Medical, which will cost us £260 each, which if it's as bad as the last one will be a big waste of money.
I'm a little worried about the Visa application, obviously, I had to state that I'd had Testicular Cancer and will require follow-up visits to the hospital, although these are only 6 monthly and nothing more than the odd CT scan and blood tests. Hopefully, the application will be read by a real person and not a simple machine.
It's a busy weekend of sport ahead, England vs Ireland in the Six Nations and then the carling cup Final which I will be glued to the tv for. I don't hold big hopes for Villa but on our day we can do the job. It would be nice to squeeze a bike ride in as well, but we'll see. Finally it appears the snow has gone so here's for a few days of early Spring please...
Tuesday 16 February 2010
Not the most interesting of entries, sorry
Reading back my blog posts I’ve realised that they’re quite personal and I wonder how much I should be sharing in them. I do find it useful though as a tool to let my feelings out. Writing this now, I realise that the blog has to remain private and although I’ll be happy to talk about work stuff and the things I get up to I believe that they need to be more professionally maintained.
The original idea of the blog was to highlight the events that I run and build up a bit of momentum, that’s a bit difficult to do if I personalise it too much. So from here on in, I’ll look to update on the events on a separate blog…not that I need to worry too much as I calculated I’ll be moving to Australia in 11 weeks and the plan is not to get another charity job.
So what is today’s blog about? I’m at home today, half working, half trying to gather my thoughts. And as I was grilling sausages and making a cup of tea I actually stopped and the reality of mum’s death hit me.
For so long I took it as inevitable that she was going to die. She had a glioblastoma multiforme, a brain tumour that was never going to repair itself. I used to get so frustrated that she wasn’t fighting it as hard as she could do, but it wasn’t me that it was affecting. At least mum was comfortable and at least she had dad to care for her. I now know that neither of them would have had it any other way. Whilst I hope I am never a burden to my wife I would hope that she would care for me just the way Dad did. When you’re suffering, who do you want with you? The person you love.
When I think about the last 6 months, I know mum was struggling, but she never wanted to be ill, she never wanted to feel the way she did. She wanted to be a mother and grandmother and those opportunities were wrestled away from her. Perhaps I feel cheated, perhaps I just don’t understand and can’t quite get my head around it. Mum has gone. Yes I have wonderful memories, and yes I have the wonderful photos that we took of her in Australia a few years earlier. But it doesn’t help me feel that I wasted the time I had with her.
I don’t want to be depressed thinking about it. And as someone that believes in God I believe that she’s now at peace, but sometimes that makes it worse, because while I’m happy that she’s not suffering, it’s what we all wanted while she was still alive.
So today is a rough day emotionally wise. It’s so easy to just slip back in to the every day life and actions. But it’s important to stop and take account of things and I only wish I had more time to do that. I would hope that when we move to Australia we’ll have that time, once we are all set up again.
I’m sorry for another dull and moanful entry. I will try and jazz it up soon, I promise.
x
The original idea of the blog was to highlight the events that I run and build up a bit of momentum, that’s a bit difficult to do if I personalise it too much. So from here on in, I’ll look to update on the events on a separate blog…not that I need to worry too much as I calculated I’ll be moving to Australia in 11 weeks and the plan is not to get another charity job.
So what is today’s blog about? I’m at home today, half working, half trying to gather my thoughts. And as I was grilling sausages and making a cup of tea I actually stopped and the reality of mum’s death hit me.
For so long I took it as inevitable that she was going to die. She had a glioblastoma multiforme, a brain tumour that was never going to repair itself. I used to get so frustrated that she wasn’t fighting it as hard as she could do, but it wasn’t me that it was affecting. At least mum was comfortable and at least she had dad to care for her. I now know that neither of them would have had it any other way. Whilst I hope I am never a burden to my wife I would hope that she would care for me just the way Dad did. When you’re suffering, who do you want with you? The person you love.
When I think about the last 6 months, I know mum was struggling, but she never wanted to be ill, she never wanted to feel the way she did. She wanted to be a mother and grandmother and those opportunities were wrestled away from her. Perhaps I feel cheated, perhaps I just don’t understand and can’t quite get my head around it. Mum has gone. Yes I have wonderful memories, and yes I have the wonderful photos that we took of her in Australia a few years earlier. But it doesn’t help me feel that I wasted the time I had with her.
I don’t want to be depressed thinking about it. And as someone that believes in God I believe that she’s now at peace, but sometimes that makes it worse, because while I’m happy that she’s not suffering, it’s what we all wanted while she was still alive.
So today is a rough day emotionally wise. It’s so easy to just slip back in to the every day life and actions. But it’s important to stop and take account of things and I only wish I had more time to do that. I would hope that when we move to Australia we’ll have that time, once we are all set up again.
I’m sorry for another dull and moanful entry. I will try and jazz it up soon, I promise.
x
Monday 15 February 2010
Relax it’s over, no need to show emotions for another year
I’m turning in to a pretty cynical person. Just to add to my wonderful characteristics of being overly grumpy and sarcastic. Seriously, you have to go through a lot of crap to survive being my friend.
So valentine’s day is over and has the world changed much? No. Don’t worry, I got a card, a cd and a dvd for the mrs, pretty standard I know, but this was our 11th together, so the novelty is wearing thin, and I haven’t got the cash to throw away on meaningless gifts for one day.
Even at church on Sunday there were plenty of references to valentine’s day, which, if it was in the context of modern day life and wasting your money and emotions then I would agree with, but it wasn’t. I love the people of my church, but it in no way inspires me to be a better person, not that that is the sole reason I attend, there’s various reasons, which we’ll discuss another time.
In general I had a good weekend. I had the kids to myself on Saturday morning and so we went to my sisters to play with my niece, Grace. The kids had a lovely time. I was still a little on edge. I can’t seem to discuss our Australia plans openly without a massive twinge of guilt. So, I pretty much avoided the topic.
Later in the day we had Isabelle and Marc over for a games night. Now, I love board games, in particular I love monopoly and I have a slight obsession. I own over 50 different monopoly games. I don’t actually play them very often, but I love all the variations from Muppets to Elvis to Beatles to James Bond to Star Wars to Lord of the Rings.
So, I was quite excited that we had people coming over. Marc and I were also secretly hoping we could talk the girls in to playing Risk…but unfortunately, no. Instead after some food we started on Trivial Pursuit, and our version is pre-2003 so blimey it felt old. But the evening wasn’t very smooth, Perhaps I was too grumpy, but nobody seemed to be really letting go, perhaps we all had stuff on our mind.
Sunday, or as everyone knew it as, Valentine’s Day, was lovely. I’d already got the go ahead from the wifey for a morning bike ride with my brother in-law and a few others, so we could really start training for the 100km ride in March. We did around 25 miles and the weather was great, not sure on the route, we stuck to dual carriageways and seemed to add a hill everywhere we went, the roads didn’t feel great and were way too bumpy, but it was great to get out.
We finished the ride at church and stopped for a rather dull 2 hours, and then it was home for lunch, kids went for a nap, as did me and the mrs. Well, Matilda woke up after an hour, so I ventured downstairs and we watched the rugby and football, while we gave mommy a rest. And that was pretty much that. Perhaps it was uneventful, un romantic, but precisely how me and my wife enjoyed it x
So valentine’s day is over and has the world changed much? No. Don’t worry, I got a card, a cd and a dvd for the mrs, pretty standard I know, but this was our 11th together, so the novelty is wearing thin, and I haven’t got the cash to throw away on meaningless gifts for one day.
Even at church on Sunday there were plenty of references to valentine’s day, which, if it was in the context of modern day life and wasting your money and emotions then I would agree with, but it wasn’t. I love the people of my church, but it in no way inspires me to be a better person, not that that is the sole reason I attend, there’s various reasons, which we’ll discuss another time.
In general I had a good weekend. I had the kids to myself on Saturday morning and so we went to my sisters to play with my niece, Grace. The kids had a lovely time. I was still a little on edge. I can’t seem to discuss our Australia plans openly without a massive twinge of guilt. So, I pretty much avoided the topic.
Later in the day we had Isabelle and Marc over for a games night. Now, I love board games, in particular I love monopoly and I have a slight obsession. I own over 50 different monopoly games. I don’t actually play them very often, but I love all the variations from Muppets to Elvis to Beatles to James Bond to Star Wars to Lord of the Rings.
So, I was quite excited that we had people coming over. Marc and I were also secretly hoping we could talk the girls in to playing Risk…but unfortunately, no. Instead after some food we started on Trivial Pursuit, and our version is pre-2003 so blimey it felt old. But the evening wasn’t very smooth, Perhaps I was too grumpy, but nobody seemed to be really letting go, perhaps we all had stuff on our mind.
Sunday, or as everyone knew it as, Valentine’s Day, was lovely. I’d already got the go ahead from the wifey for a morning bike ride with my brother in-law and a few others, so we could really start training for the 100km ride in March. We did around 25 miles and the weather was great, not sure on the route, we stuck to dual carriageways and seemed to add a hill everywhere we went, the roads didn’t feel great and were way too bumpy, but it was great to get out.
We finished the ride at church and stopped for a rather dull 2 hours, and then it was home for lunch, kids went for a nap, as did me and the mrs. Well, Matilda woke up after an hour, so I ventured downstairs and we watched the rugby and football, while we gave mommy a rest. And that was pretty much that. Perhaps it was uneventful, un romantic, but precisely how me and my wife enjoyed it x
Friday 12 February 2010
I'm sure I should be training more
Last year my brother in-law bought a road bike, quite a fancy one. I have an interesting relationship with cycling and bikes. My dad encouraged us from an early age and got me a bike with drop handles when I was about 10 or 11 I guess. It is today the best Christmas present I have ever had, mainly because I had no idea I was getting it and I went downstairs in to the living room and there it was.
So I've always been in to riding bikes and I love watching the Tour de France, especially with my dad. In July we'd gather round the tv after dinner and watch the highlights on Channel 4. As I grew up I grew out of cycling although I always had a bike somewhere. When I went to uni dad put one together for me, granted the pedals fell off, but it was a nice thought.And so from the age of 16 to 26 I lost my way and cycling was pushed to the back of my mind. After driving a van for a year in Australia I found a desk job
for the Asthma Foundation of WA and they're big fundraising event was the Freeway Bike Hike. Working on this event and working with people that have since become great friends encouraged me to get back in to cycling. And in 2007 I bought a proper road bike myself, second hand, off my favourite site Ebay.Ok, so it didn't get much usage in Perth because I didn't think I was cool enough to ride around Perth or fit enough, I used to play football on a saturday and would be breathing out my arse after 10 minutes.
When we moved back to Birmingham I did want to bring my bike back though as I thought it would be something me and dad could do. So, again, the bike was shipped over. It sat in my dad's house for about a year. Mainly because it dawned on me how wet, busy and horrible British roads are, and how busy life in the UK is.
But when my brother in-law bought his bike it spurred me on and since last year I've been getting out more. Now that I don't have a car to call my own I bike to work generally as it's only a 10 minute ride. And then toward the end of last year, I thought it would be great to do an organised ride, something to aim for and puch us on.
The soonest one was on March 28th and was an Action 100 ride (I'll be honest, I haven't a clue who the charity is) you can either ride 100km or 100 miles. I thought, perfect, in 6 months I can be ready for a 100km ride surely...
...of course, I must have been drinking that day and forgotten that a) it was coming up to winter b) that I have 2 young children and c) I'm actually quite lazy.
But I've been riding when I can, nowhere near on the scale of my brother in-law who seems to be doing regular 20 mile stints as opposed to my 5. And I fully intend on doing the ride in March, if only, because I don't think I'll get chance to do another in the UK.
So I better get training. I rode a longer route to work this mornig, and after a week off the bike it pretty much killed me. I probably over estimated how cold it was with 5 layers on including 2 warm fleece type jackets which probably didn't help. We've got a 20 mile ride planned fo rsunday morning with a few of my brother in-laws friends, so we'll see how that goes.
And the funniest part of the story, which is typical of me. I got to work (insert puffing and panting noises) and went to get changed and had I put my jeans and t-shirt in my bag? Of course not, I'm just glad I had my trainers in there as otherwise I would have looked an idiot walking around in cleats.
But don't worry, I have no lycra shorts in sight, I'm a trackies and socks kinda guy!
Thursday 11 February 2010
This is draft number 4 of this blog post. For some reason, I just can't get it right. And it's not even that important, I just don't want to come across as some big whinger (maybe too late for that!)
About 2 weeks ago, my wife and I had a chat. The main topic of conversation was moving back to Perth, Western Australia. For those that don't know, we moved there in 2004, with the aim of staying there for good (should the Australian Government approve). But with mum's illness, we came back in 2006, initially we said for 1-2 years.
We asked ourselves; was it too soon to move? how would the rest of the family feel? what would we do about jobs? is it, deep down what we want to do?
But for me the biggest question is what is right for my wife and my kids. Since moving back I've stuck to two statements; that I want my kids to go to school in Australia, not here and I'd like to spend my 30th birthday in Perth. Of course, I'm flexible, but the reality is that I can make both those things happen. (I'm 30 in May!)
The only thing holding me back would be my dad and my sister (and her family), oh and getting my bike back to oz. I have always encouraged and asked both my dad and my sister if they would come with us. There's complications and I fully understand that it's not everyone's cup of tea, but ideally, I would love us all to do that. And if not, then I would want dad to try and spend 6 months with us and 6 months back here. But I realise, I can only plan my life, not everyone else's but if I act now, then everyone will follow.
I chatted to Dad about it on wednesday night. It was a difficult conversation, but it went the way I knew it would. He was supportive but honest. I think I will struggle to leave him here if he doesn't plan a 6 month trip or longer. Whilst it was good to spend 3 years with mum, the time I had with dad was much more stressful, he know deserves a rest and to get his life back. He has his own issues to consider and I want to help him, and I want him to play a big part in my kids life, and that's what makes it hard. But life was never meant to be a walk in the park.
After chatting to dad I was feeling guilty and a little down so I texted my sister. We'd discussed it more openly with her about us moving back, but I think when it was there written down, she got upset too and didn't take it well. It was my fault, I thought she was more prepared than she was, and I should have spoken to her and not texted her!
So there you have it. We're moving back to Perth. My wife has a job lined up already (although that's another blog post!) and so in May we'll be leaving these shores.
Clearly I can't tell people at work just yet, a lot of people know my situation, but I have to keep it on the QT, and there's some people who as much as I want to trust, when they're your (stand-in) line managers daughter you really can't tell. That's the reason for going private.
It's an exciting time, but it does come with emotions and pain
x
About 2 weeks ago, my wife and I had a chat. The main topic of conversation was moving back to Perth, Western Australia. For those that don't know, we moved there in 2004, with the aim of staying there for good (should the Australian Government approve). But with mum's illness, we came back in 2006, initially we said for 1-2 years.
We asked ourselves; was it too soon to move? how would the rest of the family feel? what would we do about jobs? is it, deep down what we want to do?
But for me the biggest question is what is right for my wife and my kids. Since moving back I've stuck to two statements; that I want my kids to go to school in Australia, not here and I'd like to spend my 30th birthday in Perth. Of course, I'm flexible, but the reality is that I can make both those things happen. (I'm 30 in May!)
The only thing holding me back would be my dad and my sister (and her family), oh and getting my bike back to oz. I have always encouraged and asked both my dad and my sister if they would come with us. There's complications and I fully understand that it's not everyone's cup of tea, but ideally, I would love us all to do that. And if not, then I would want dad to try and spend 6 months with us and 6 months back here. But I realise, I can only plan my life, not everyone else's but if I act now, then everyone will follow.
I chatted to Dad about it on wednesday night. It was a difficult conversation, but it went the way I knew it would. He was supportive but honest. I think I will struggle to leave him here if he doesn't plan a 6 month trip or longer. Whilst it was good to spend 3 years with mum, the time I had with dad was much more stressful, he know deserves a rest and to get his life back. He has his own issues to consider and I want to help him, and I want him to play a big part in my kids life, and that's what makes it hard. But life was never meant to be a walk in the park.
After chatting to dad I was feeling guilty and a little down so I texted my sister. We'd discussed it more openly with her about us moving back, but I think when it was there written down, she got upset too and didn't take it well. It was my fault, I thought she was more prepared than she was, and I should have spoken to her and not texted her!
So there you have it. We're moving back to Perth. My wife has a job lined up already (although that's another blog post!) and so in May we'll be leaving these shores.
Clearly I can't tell people at work just yet, a lot of people know my situation, but I have to keep it on the QT, and there's some people who as much as I want to trust, when they're your (stand-in) line managers daughter you really can't tell. That's the reason for going private.
It's an exciting time, but it does come with emotions and pain
x
Thursday 4 February 2010
Guitar Heroes, Geocachers, Fashion Shows & random Brightness
What a day so far. Arguably the most productive and pleasing of 2010, congratulations to Thursday 4th February, never knew you had it in you.
Lots of things have come together well today. Instead of hanging about waiting for answers to questions, they've jumped straight up and said "hello". Which equally means I've been able to get on with things.
#1 good vibe came when I met with Rachel @Varsity Harborne. I swear she probably cringes whenever she sees me, which has so far been twice. But no, she was lovely and helpful and even though she's returning to Southampton next week she's booked in our Guitar Hero night for the 25th Feb. I haven't been 100% sure about this event, but we've got the venue, now to get the xbox, playstation or wii and the Guitar Hero equipment! I enjoy working backwards.
#2 was requesting Outdoor Show tickets as prizes for the Geocaching event 'The Big Search' and getting a green light. They're in the post. Again, not sure on the event, but worth a shot. Again, now I have 20 odd GPS receivers to find.
#3 was the freebies and promotion that Kathy @ UK Geocachers offered without me really asking. Lovely people. Must go visit sometime.
#4 was the offer of help running a Fashion Show event. Just need to work on the timing of that one. I did want to fit it in with our Awareness event 'Wear Bright for Sight' but not to be, we can do it earlier though, so will look in to that one.
#5 was a lovely note left for me by one of our volunteers who I haven't met but eager to help out. The one thing I need more of here is more help, especially to run ideas past and generally keep me sane.
So, there you go, for me to find 5 good things happen before 4pm, well that's unheard of. And maybe because I chose to walk to work this morning. Normally I'd hop on the bike but this morning we'd got the kids ready early so I had plenty of time. I love listening to my ipod, so I thought it'd give me chance to listen to some music.
One of the first songs on shuffle was Mumford & Sons - Sigh No More. That song really hits a note with me at the moment, I thought a lot about mum, which made me a bit sad.
But I love the drum beat and the bass, and when that was followed by Foo Fighters Everlong, well, I was well in the mood for a good day at work and kicking some ass.
I love music, I can't play any instruments, despite having an awesome red saxophone! I'd love to play the drums or the guitar, especially bass.
But I'm not that type of person really, I don't have the will power and commitment to learn, I also don't have the time and would rather spend the time cycling if I could. It's too wet tonight, so that's out the window.So, Thursday has been a good day, who knew :-)
Tuesday 2 February 2010
Ideas, Ideas, Ideas
I'd say I'm an ideas kind of guy. Great at thinking them up, not so great at always implementing them.
I'm faced with the problem that I need to raise about £8-10k for Focus Birmingham, before the end of March (eeeek!) It's a challenge.
I don't shy away from challenges, but I do have the problem that my 3-4 ideas that I have to raise the money are all slightly new and inventive (apart from 1) which means that I have to work harder to get people involved in them. I'll be honest with (but keep it quiet!) I'm not really a people person, it takes a lot of energy to crank up the smile and positivity each morning. I wasn't called Mr Grumpy for nowt.
So today, we will steam ahead with a few ideas and see where we go.
Oh, and may I introduce a good friend of mine www.sammisibley.com I have just seen her new blog website, it kind of puts mine to shame. But she's lovely, so go say hi and be nice.
Monday 1 February 2010
Event #2 - The Aussie Barbie
My second event since starting at Focus Birmingham was the Aussie Barbie on saturday.
The concept of the event...an outdoor BBQ with indoor activities, in Birmingham as close to Australia Day (26th Jan) as poss. Well, I'm pleased with the actual running of the event, but we simply didn't have enough people there. Understandable I guess, a BBQ in winter in the UK, where as I thought it was quirky some people might thing crazy.
As pointed out, people tell me it's a learning curve. Well, that might be true, but I'm 30 this year and been doing fundraising for 5 years now. I know that's not that long, but seriously, you'd have thought I'd have learnt a bit more by now.
Perhaps I need to re-address the quirkyness of my event ideas. When I first started here at Focus I had a list of about 10 ideas, none of them were particular 'regular' events. Am I being too specialist? Creating events that I might like doesn't mean there are people like me out there.
I need to make my budget of about £8000 by the end of March. Yep, that's less than 2 months away now. Without being defeatist I can't see any way of me making that much money by doing regular events, and besides, I've learnt that a good event is promoted early on, not 4 weeks before it.
But it doesn't mean I can sit pretty for February, I have to bring in some money, so I'm looking at a Guitar Hero or Rock Band fundraiser, a dance night, either Strictly or Salsa esque, or even a Memphis Belle type theme night. With a bit of a man power I could maybe do all 3, but I don't know, it'll be a push.
I also wondered over the weekend whether I'm sending mixed messages via Twitter, and this blog to be honest. I started on Twitter purely for personal purposes, an opportunity to engage with people I don't know and perhaps will never meet, yet still have enthralling conversations with.
But as I learnt more of Twitter, I learnt that it's an excellent marketing tool. And as I tweet about me, how can I not tweet about my work. We do have a Twitter account for work, but I don't control it. And if I did it would be purely events based. Perhaps I feel that without marketing events personally myself I won't be able to get people along. But then on a daily basis that is me. For work I have to sell myself and the charity to get people on events. See, it's very confusing.
I'll publish more Aussie Barbie photos in the week I hope.
x
The concept of the event...an outdoor BBQ with indoor activities, in Birmingham as close to Australia Day (26th Jan) as poss. Well, I'm pleased with the actual running of the event, but we simply didn't have enough people there. Understandable I guess, a BBQ in winter in the UK, where as I thought it was quirky some people might thing crazy.
As pointed out, people tell me it's a learning curve. Well, that might be true, but I'm 30 this year and been doing fundraising for 5 years now. I know that's not that long, but seriously, you'd have thought I'd have learnt a bit more by now.
Perhaps I need to re-address the quirkyness of my event ideas. When I first started here at Focus I had a list of about 10 ideas, none of them were particular 'regular' events. Am I being too specialist? Creating events that I might like doesn't mean there are people like me out there.
I need to make my budget of about £8000 by the end of March. Yep, that's less than 2 months away now. Without being defeatist I can't see any way of me making that much money by doing regular events, and besides, I've learnt that a good event is promoted early on, not 4 weeks before it.
But it doesn't mean I can sit pretty for February, I have to bring in some money, so I'm looking at a Guitar Hero or Rock Band fundraiser, a dance night, either Strictly or Salsa esque, or even a Memphis Belle type theme night. With a bit of a man power I could maybe do all 3, but I don't know, it'll be a push.
I also wondered over the weekend whether I'm sending mixed messages via Twitter, and this blog to be honest. I started on Twitter purely for personal purposes, an opportunity to engage with people I don't know and perhaps will never meet, yet still have enthralling conversations with.
But as I learnt more of Twitter, I learnt that it's an excellent marketing tool. And as I tweet about me, how can I not tweet about my work. We do have a Twitter account for work, but I don't control it. And if I did it would be purely events based. Perhaps I feel that without marketing events personally myself I won't be able to get people along. But then on a daily basis that is me. For work I have to sell myself and the charity to get people on events. See, it's very confusing.
I'll publish more Aussie Barbie photos in the week I hope.
x
Thursday 28 January 2010
Happy (belated) Australia Day
I hope you all enjoyed Australia Day on the 26th January
I didn't quite spend it how I would have liked to. The perfect way to celebrate would have been with family and friends with a barbie, beer and the beach. But hopefully, there will be plenty of them to come in the future.
Instead I spent the day in the office. I wore my Aussie boardies (which, no I didn't take a photo of) my aussie footy shirt and my newly purchased Australia Hat
I then journeyed down Harborne High Street to hand out some flyers. How cold it was!
It's now 2 sleeps until the Aussie Barbie. I've been dissapointed with the take up of tickets in advance, although I'm not too surprised. But it does mean that I'm incredibly stressed that we'll have 100 burgers and 100 sausages but no one to devour them on Saturday. So if you're in Birmingham or Harborne on Saturday, please stop by and say hi.
All in all, I'm very tired lately. I haven't really had chance to digest everything that has happened over the last 2 weeks, and my way of dealing with these things in this situation is to put it to the side in a nice little box and open it when I have time. But as I haven't had time that box is starting to get bigger and bigger.
I managed an 11 mile bike ride on Monday night. My first proper night ride, it was quiet and cold and my fingers nearly froze off again. I enjoyed the peace and quiet, but knowing I had this week to deal with it was hard to truly let go.
The office has been quite a happy place lately. Various items have arrived for the barbie, including the 2 Kangaroo costumes, there's debates about how much they actually look like Kangaroos, but hey, beggars can't be chosers.
Next week will be a week to look forward, beyond the next month an hopefully start planning.
x
I didn't quite spend it how I would have liked to. The perfect way to celebrate would have been with family and friends with a barbie, beer and the beach. But hopefully, there will be plenty of them to come in the future.
Instead I spent the day in the office. I wore my Aussie boardies (which, no I didn't take a photo of) my aussie footy shirt and my newly purchased Australia Hat
I then journeyed down Harborne High Street to hand out some flyers. How cold it was!
It's now 2 sleeps until the Aussie Barbie. I've been dissapointed with the take up of tickets in advance, although I'm not too surprised. But it does mean that I'm incredibly stressed that we'll have 100 burgers and 100 sausages but no one to devour them on Saturday. So if you're in Birmingham or Harborne on Saturday, please stop by and say hi.
All in all, I'm very tired lately. I haven't really had chance to digest everything that has happened over the last 2 weeks, and my way of dealing with these things in this situation is to put it to the side in a nice little box and open it when I have time. But as I haven't had time that box is starting to get bigger and bigger.
I managed an 11 mile bike ride on Monday night. My first proper night ride, it was quiet and cold and my fingers nearly froze off again. I enjoyed the peace and quiet, but knowing I had this week to deal with it was hard to truly let go.
The office has been quite a happy place lately. Various items have arrived for the barbie, including the 2 Kangaroo costumes, there's debates about how much they actually look like Kangaroos, but hey, beggars can't be chosers.
Next week will be a week to look forward, beyond the next month an hopefully start planning.
x
Monday 18 January 2010
Decisions
The blog has been highly depressing since Christmas, for obvious reasons. I now have the decision to make; do I keep on blogging through the dark times and try and be light hearted and witty, should I empty my head and my heart of the aches and pains that I’ve suffered or should I lock all that away and keep it locked. After all, are people here to read my thoughts on all aspects of my life or my professional expertise (which I’m yet to figure what it is)
Personally, I find it hard to hide feelings. I come across as grumpy and overly sarcastic the majority of times anyway, some people I hit it off with, they understand that. Other people find it very off putting .But what I despise doing is being fake. It was hard to come in to work last week, even for that one day, because I knew everyone would be lovely and kind and say ‘sorry to hear about your news/mum’. I still have no idea how to respond to that. I didn’t and still don’t feel ok, I’ve barely had chance to think about it since it happened, yet I felt a pressure to put on a smile and ‘act’ ok with it.
Truth be told I want to hibernate for at least a month and try my best to think of the good times that I had with my mum. Yet, this fast paced life we have doesn’t allow for that. This morning I had an hour to myself. It was bliss. And I’m looking forward to tomorrow. I have a hospital appointment at 9.30, and I hope I’m not there all day and after that I want to just come home and be me.
I should apologise, I started this entry with the intention of being more positive and talking about the exciting things happening in life, instead I have droned on again. So, for that I say sorry.
The major event happening is work related. The Aussie Barbie (http://focusbirmingham.org.uk/events/australia_day_bbq) is getting ever closer and whilst everything is booked and ready, I desperately need to sell tickets. This kind of event is not my forte, yet it has been me driving it. I hoped it would capture the imagination of locals, but under 2 weeks out and I haven’t heard a peep out of anyone which is a little disappointing. Friends and family will support it, but that’s not enough.
I hope later in the week to write a more inspiring blog about why I set up the event, and that will be the re-start of this blog.
Personally, I find it hard to hide feelings. I come across as grumpy and overly sarcastic the majority of times anyway, some people I hit it off with, they understand that. Other people find it very off putting .But what I despise doing is being fake. It was hard to come in to work last week, even for that one day, because I knew everyone would be lovely and kind and say ‘sorry to hear about your news/mum’. I still have no idea how to respond to that. I didn’t and still don’t feel ok, I’ve barely had chance to think about it since it happened, yet I felt a pressure to put on a smile and ‘act’ ok with it.
Truth be told I want to hibernate for at least a month and try my best to think of the good times that I had with my mum. Yet, this fast paced life we have doesn’t allow for that. This morning I had an hour to myself. It was bliss. And I’m looking forward to tomorrow. I have a hospital appointment at 9.30, and I hope I’m not there all day and after that I want to just come home and be me.
I should apologise, I started this entry with the intention of being more positive and talking about the exciting things happening in life, instead I have droned on again. So, for that I say sorry.
The major event happening is work related. The Aussie Barbie (http://focusbirmingham.org.uk/events/australia_day_bbq) is getting ever closer and whilst everything is booked and ready, I desperately need to sell tickets. This kind of event is not my forte, yet it has been me driving it. I hoped it would capture the imagination of locals, but under 2 weeks out and I haven’t heard a peep out of anyone which is a little disappointing. Friends and family will support it, but that’s not enough.
I hope later in the week to write a more inspiring blog about why I set up the event, and that will be the re-start of this blog.
Friday 8 January 2010
Update on Mum K
All I seem to blog about is mum lately, but I think you'll agree that's understandable.
Mum has a high temperature and low blood pressure. Physically she is very weak and feeling sick alot. There seems to be little we can do anymore. Her body will either accept the medication and it'll work or it won't. The plan yesterdy was to transfer her to St. Mary's Hospice where she would at least have some peace and the family could be with her.
Unfortunately due to us Brit's beign completely weak, there is not enough staff at the hospice to accept her today. Rather than wait until Monday we are now trying to get everything set up to have Mum at home so we can care for her. At least at home she will get some rest and hopefully have some dignity.
Thank you for all the love, support and prayers. It's been a good fight, we've fought our corner well, now let's rest.
Mum has a high temperature and low blood pressure. Physically she is very weak and feeling sick alot. There seems to be little we can do anymore. Her body will either accept the medication and it'll work or it won't. The plan yesterdy was to transfer her to St. Mary's Hospice where she would at least have some peace and the family could be with her.
Unfortunately due to us Brit's beign completely weak, there is not enough staff at the hospice to accept her today. Rather than wait until Monday we are now trying to get everything set up to have Mum at home so we can care for her. At least at home she will get some rest and hopefully have some dignity.
Thank you for all the love, support and prayers. It's been a good fight, we've fought our corner well, now let's rest.
Thursday 7 January 2010
2010 A new start? Or the remains of 2009?
I've never been a big fan of New Years resolutions or the "It's a new year, I need to radically change everything about me for a month and then give up". No, the start of a new year for mehas never been anything drastically special. I guess that's because I can be quite implusive, when I want to change something, I'll do it straight away, I'm also a bit rebelious, I like to do things before other people and if other people have got there first, then I'm not so interested.
I did however intend to be more positive this year. Over the past few years I've been very negative. Ok, at school I was called Mr Grumpy. But, that's part of me, my sarcastic nature sometimes goes on overdrive.
But so far 2010 is proving very tricky. I obviously knew it would be with mum in hospital and quite seriously ill, but I also wanted to be positive in that. Anyway, my new positive blogging nature has just proven useful...a text from my Dad, Mum is priority for admission to St Mary's Hospice tomorrow providing staff are in place and there's no more snow.
That is fantastic news. It will give Dad the opportunity to spend as much time with mum as he can and hopefully ease her panic attacks. Whether it's the beginning of the end I don't know, but there's nothing more difficult than seeing someone you love in such distress and not being able to grant their wishes. I had even started coming down on the side of Dad yesterday that even though having mum at home would be difficult it might be preferential than having her at the hospital.
I shall go visit this afternoon and see how the old dear is doing...positive thinking her we come.
x
P.S. Snow day yesterday was great, will load some photos later. Although, I do think it is quite ridiculous that we 'give in' to the snow...instead, just take it as a holiday and embrace! Well, for a day.
I did however intend to be more positive this year. Over the past few years I've been very negative. Ok, at school I was called Mr Grumpy. But, that's part of me, my sarcastic nature sometimes goes on overdrive.
But so far 2010 is proving very tricky. I obviously knew it would be with mum in hospital and quite seriously ill, but I also wanted to be positive in that. Anyway, my new positive blogging nature has just proven useful...a text from my Dad, Mum is priority for admission to St Mary's Hospice tomorrow providing staff are in place and there's no more snow.
That is fantastic news. It will give Dad the opportunity to spend as much time with mum as he can and hopefully ease her panic attacks. Whether it's the beginning of the end I don't know, but there's nothing more difficult than seeing someone you love in such distress and not being able to grant their wishes. I had even started coming down on the side of Dad yesterday that even though having mum at home would be difficult it might be preferential than having her at the hospital.
I shall go visit this afternoon and see how the old dear is doing...positive thinking her we come.
x
P.S. Snow day yesterday was great, will load some photos later. Although, I do think it is quite ridiculous that we 'give in' to the snow...instead, just take it as a holiday and embrace! Well, for a day.
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