This is draft number 4 of this blog post. For some reason, I just can't get it right. And it's not even that important, I just don't want to come across as some big whinger (maybe too late for that!)

About 2 weeks ago, my wife and I had a chat. The main topic of conversation was moving back to Perth, Western Australia. For those that don't know, we moved there in 2004, with the aim of staying there for good (should the Australian Government approve). But with mum's illness, we came back in 2006, initially we said for 1-2 years.

We asked ourselves; was it too soon to move? how would the rest of the family feel? what would we do about jobs? is it, deep down what we want to do?

But for me the biggest question is what is right for my wife and my kids. Since moving back I've stuck to two statements; that I want my kids to go to school in Australia, not here and I'd like to spend my 30th birthday in Perth. Of course, I'm flexible, but the reality is that I can make both those things happen. (I'm 30 in May!)

The only thing holding me back would be my dad and my sister (and her family), oh and getting my bike back to oz. I have always encouraged and asked both my dad and my sister if they would come with us. There's complications and I fully understand that it's not everyone's cup of tea, but ideally, I would love us all to do that. And if not, then I would want dad to try and spend 6 months with us and 6 months back here. But I realise, I can only plan my life, not everyone else's but if I act now, then everyone will follow.

I chatted to Dad about it on wednesday night. It was a difficult conversation, but it went the way I knew it would. He was supportive but honest. I think I will struggle to leave him here if he doesn't plan a 6 month trip or longer. Whilst it was good to spend 3 years with mum, the time I had with dad was much more stressful, he know deserves a rest and to get his life back. He has his own issues to consider and I want to help him, and I want him to play a big part in my kids life, and that's what makes it hard. But life was never meant to be a walk in the park.

After chatting to dad I was feeling guilty and a little down so I texted my sister. We'd discussed it more openly with her about us moving back, but I think when it was there written down, she got upset too and didn't take it well. It was my fault, I thought she was more prepared than she was, and I should have spoken to her and not texted her!

So there you have it. We're moving back to Perth. My wife has a job lined up already (although that's another blog post!) and so in May we'll be leaving these shores.

Clearly I can't tell people at work just yet, a lot of people know my situation, but I have to keep it on the QT, and there's some people who as much as I want to trust, when they're your (stand-in) line managers daughter you really can't tell. That's the reason for going private.

It's an exciting time, but it does come with emotions and pain

x